kalliel

I'm back, and I had a wonderful time.



Traveled all around Russia, Ukraine, Finland, and the UK (sort of), and got to meet up with shaitanah/istne_pieklo TWICE, which was absolutely fantastic.



Traveled a lot, applied to eight trillion doctoral programs, made some of the best friends of my life, all of whom I now miss so much it hurts. Now I don't know how to live my life and I'm being a psychopath and carrying around two phones (both off), only reading my junk mail, that sort of thing. Tried to self-medicate my life by disappearing into television and ended up traumatized by television! Not that that should surprise anyone!

tl;dr Sam is amazing, and I love Amelia. I adored 8x09 and it makes me so excited for the next half of the season--ohhhh, Benny Benny Benny. Law and Order; SVU S14 is weirdly good. And the BBC version of Being Human, which I started watching with shaitanah, absolutely slayed me. Is slaying me. I can't do this. XP

Actually, I think my basic relationship with most TV right now is pretty much "motherfucking vampires!!"


I may need to go read Lestat again.

How are you all? I've missed you. <3

1. As per usual, I plan to read allllll of the awesome kamikazeremix fics, and view the lovely art. This activity has been postponed til December or January but I AM EXCITED ANYWAY. <3

2. embroiderama remixed a Lisa/Dean Smith (ish) fic I wrote last December, titled When You Wake Up to This (The Sleepwalking Remix), which, it should go without saying, ALSO BEST. She does such an amazing job with her characterization of Dean Smith and the crazy situation he doesn't really full know he's in, and his interactions with Lisa. The rhythmic, understated language of this piece is just to die for. Absolutely read this, guys. <3333333333

3. And I wrote one, too:

Title: Going Once (chicagoland remix)
Genre: horror/dark!fic, outsider!POV, alternate timeline mid/late S5
Characters: AT!Dean, OC
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~2700
Warnings: thematic slavery/bondage, implied prostitution, alcoholism
Summary: At the tail end of 2009 Houston, Texas becomes the third most populous city in the United States. Elsewhere, the population of Chicago is 36, and one of them is Death.

Notes: This is a remix of Going Once by tattooeddevil (which you definitely want to read first!), written for kamikazeremix 2012. This is the "D-side," if you'll permit the awful pun. Chicagoland inspired by snickfic and her fic, The Only Cure for Grief. Special thanks to tattooeddevil for offering herself up to my ~machinations. <3!

Three bodies, two lifeboats.

4. I had several lame paragraphs written here, making a huge deal out of something that probably shouldn't be AS big of a deal as feel like it is, but I think I'll sit on that a little more before deciding whether or not it is a ~personal dilemma worthy of publicity.

Instead, my (visual) review of SPN 8x01:

This timezone is the best timezone:

10:30PM: lalala OH FUCK kamikazeremix IS DUE TODAY.
10:35PM: /runs to nearest McDonald's, buy McNuggets for the "complimentary Internet," figure out assignment
11:00PM: writewritewrite
3:00AM: sleepsleepsleep
5:40AM: writewritewrite sleep writewri-- sleep WRITEWRITEWRITE
9:00AM: eat walkwalkwalk metrometrometro walkwalkwalk
10:30AM: WRITE HEADER
10:45AM: INTERNET DEATH
10:58AM: POST \O/

I need to stop getting myself into the most ridiculous ficcing situations, because this is just unacceptble, omggg

Title: Here There Be Tygers
Genre: hurt/comfort (anterograde amnesia), curtain!fic, horror
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~6100
Warnings: Questionable care-taking ethics.
Author's Notes: S3 divergent timeline. Written for spn_summergen 2012, originally posted here.
Summary: The problem with Dean's memory is, it means he asks that question about eight trillion times more ("Sammy, are you okay? well, are you?") and as far as Sam's concerned, the answer matters even less. The problem with Dean's life is, it's supposed to end this year. And the problem with Dean's brother, well. Sam's still working on that one.


( Read more... )

Title: Here There Be Tygers (sad poetry remix)
Genre: hurt/comfort (anterograde amnesia), curtain!fic, grief/angst
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~3300
Author's Notes: S3 divergent timeline. This is a remix of a story I wrote for spn_summergen 2012; its origin is very strange and convoluted, but I do adore remixes and all that the form allows you to play with. Plus, I needed like 100000x more Sam in my life. This version is for saltedshotgun, who originally gave me the prompt, "curtain!fic gone wrong." <3

Summary: It's not Hell, Hell-that-knows-no-end Hell, but it's a hell without a beginning and maybe that's just as bad. Sam is, after all, the Boy King, Prince of Hell, Ruler of the Demon Hordes, and whatever else. Maybe his majesty is just annexing new territories.

( Read more... )

Catch you on the flipside, my beautiful coastline. And siblings. ♥

Title: Six Degrees of Separation
Genre: hurt/comfort and then more hurt/comfort
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: R for language and Sam's delinquent sense of humor
Word Count: ~3000
Warnings: Suicidal ideation.
Notes: Takes place some time after 7x18 in the alternate reality where Leviathan goo is actually dangerous. For plot reasons. Written for an anonymous prompt at hoodie_time's summer comment!meme, which asked for "Dean cuddling Sam. Even though Sam is like a sweaty, living furnace, some bad shit has just gone down, and Dean needs to feel that Sam is here and alive." Because comfort hurts.

( Common side-effects include bradycardia, broken concentration, hypersensitivity to touch, and the transformation of your brother into metaphor. )

Guys guys guys, the combination of spn_summergen and hoodie_time's SUMMER COMMENT!MEME OF SPLENDOR is making life very beautiful right now. Last night nwspaprtaxis and I were chatting about which prompts we had hoarded from the meme, haha. If you haven't had a chance yet, definitely go check out what's there! If you're anywhere near Dean- or H/C-inclined, you're sure to find something that pings your interests.

In other news, I took the GRE last Thursday. The testing center was down the street from Asian Americans for Community Involvement, which I desperately want to involve myself with if I'm ever stably living in this area. It's also near the Winchester Road, the towns of Lawrence and Campbell, and the Winchester Mystery House, which is exciting because uh, yeah.

And I got this in the mail!



Life has been crazy busy so the full reality of this hasn't hit me yet, but my flight leaves on 3 September~ I don't know when I'll be back yet (cannot afford plane ticket back yet lol?) but I know I have to leave Russia by 21 December, because that's when my visa expires. I'd love to visit Finland at some point before returning to the States, though. Anyone I should visit while I'm in the area? ;P

( Riverrun - My Family Storms the Russian River )

1.

A summer themed
Dean-focused h/c comment meme
[Click on the image to go to the meme.]

Banner courtesy of kalliel
I haven't had a chance to check it out yet (woe!) but I have perfect faith in its intense wonderfulness! And now, some artistic commentary: The banner's a little dark, I think, but when have the Winchesters had a summer that wasn't? salty_catfish pointed out my affection for Dean's shoulderssssss, which need no further explanation. The calendar is meant to count down the summer months, and the circled date is September 18th, the day Dean was gripped tight and raised from perdition--or one level of it, in any case.

( Fic Recs! [Dean/depression, Walt&Roy&Samuel, Jess's Mom, the Harvelles, John, Claire Novak, Castiel] )

I got lost in the South Bay today and ended up at Stanford University. I'd been admiring the lovely highway (Stanford calls itself "The Farm," and despite Palo Alto's general cosmopolitan affluence, part of the old scenery is still there) when I realized I was going north, instead of the south I wanted. /O\ Then I drove past the Winchester Mystery House, the Winchester Shopping Center, N and S Winchester Roads, and eventually ended up in Campbell--where I was actually headed in the first place.

I think I might have been more irritated by all the gas I wasted doing this, were it not for the extreme abundance of Supernatural references populating Silicon Valley!

In any case, maybe it was the proximity of institutions of higher learning, but I ended up having a very serious talk with myself about what I'm doing with my life, what I aspire to be doing with my life, what I need to be doing with my life, etc. I'm apparently ~known in my department back at uni, I have an extremely engaging internship for the summer, and I will be studying in St. Petersburg this coming fall; and I do recognize that that's some pretty cool shit, and I am thankful for all these opportunities. But at the same time, I never feel like I am tapping into my full potential, or being everything I can be, or whatever. Like, I work hard, and I have been graced with lots of opportunities, but I never feel like I'm working my hardest, or being as disciplined with myself as I should be.

I think it's a bit harder here; the local library is too loud, because for some reason the entire city lives there. And me, I'm living out of a duffel bag on a very small couch in my sisters' room (which makes it a miracle that I manage business casual every day, seriously), so I don't have any nice zen space at home, either. But I'm taking the GRE in less than a month, and the Subject Test in Literature in October, and sending in graduate school applications TO SCHOOLS I HAVE NOT YET CHOSEN, WITH A WRITING SAMPLE I DO NOT HAVE, AND A STATEMENT OF PURPOSE THAT IS SIMILARLY NON-EXISTENT, so I really, really need to get my act together and pick up where I left off in June. Or May. Or April. Or, you know, whenever it was I looked at any of this last.

I'm hoping that writing this out will make me feel a little more accountable, in the same way that accidental!Stanford did (lollll it looms, okay. It looks like a palm-tree clad monastery). I did read through a bunch of GRE practice questions today, and found more in the library's e-books, so it's a start. The mathematics seems too easy, but the reading comprehension felt really difficult! And the writing, too. ;_____________; I realize I'm probably doing it wrong, given what I want to study, but there you go. I really wish I'd learned to read.

On the upside, it's 60F (15C) right now, and I approve. Also, spn_summergen is in its second week of posting and is totally rocking my world. Recs to come!

How are you all doing? :D

This is going to be kind of hilarious, because I was about to write an rec post unrelated to this comm, but I'll sit on that one a bit and do this instead:

rocksalt_recs is a place to find and post recs, both for fpf and rpf: from the most populated areas of the Supernatural fandom, to the smallest and rarest of niches.

the rest of June is free reccing: anybody may post a rec without signing up.

banners courtesy of smilla02

The Summer of Recs is even better than the Summer of Love. Also, it lasts beyond the summer, but give me a break.